The Captain's (B)log

Archive for the tag “Senior Citizen”

On this day sixty years ago…

April Fools! Let’s get married.
Let’s get married. April Fools!

It doesn’t take a neurosurgeon or a big CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE section in a coloring book to realize the opposite nature of these two statements. What I am about to relate to you is a personal story of my family. A story my grandma told me years ago. The story of her marriage to my grandpa. It’s pretty short, sweet and simple.










My Grandma was in a bad situation in her home, had run away multiple times and needed to get out. She had been seeing my Grandpa for about a year. They first met at a Bible Study and hit it off immediately. I am told that he was a charming man back in the day (compared his slightly cantankerous self of late). To make a long story short they planned to get married in a year or so after they could save up and start right but her family situation forced the decision upon them. It was April Fools Day, 1951. Unaware of the date and caught up in the drama that was their life at the time, they headed to the local chapel. Their request to be married was met with a goodhearted laugh by the minister but he decided to play along.

The pastor didn’t realize he was conducting a real wedding until the end of the ceremony. My grandparents headed off on their honey moon leaving a bewildered and somewhat embarrassed man of the church. This very day marks 60 years of “hard marriage” in payment of their vows that cool April morning. They currently live less than a half hour drive away from my house and have been the best grandparents anyone could ask for. Grandma is ALWAYS encouraging me to chase my impossible dreams and Grandpa (the eternal realist) is making sure there’s a good plan in place to do so. I love them both very much.

I am posting this in honor of such character, devotion and love that made the inception of my life possible and have inspired me along it’s course. Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa


Can I see Some ID?

No, I’m not talking about the first words uttered to you by every police officer. Here in the United States we see the signs every time we enter or exit the checking lane in any store. “Alcohol and Tobacco. We card under 40.”

A custom has developed in regard to this policy that is both appreciated and detested by equal numbers. Those under the age of 18 or 21 with criminal intent to purchase these age-appropriate substances don’t like the law. I will disregard them in this post here due to the opinion’s incredible duhness* (to be distinguished from dullness, usually the catalyst of duhness).

To make a long story short: cashiers will ask senior citizens for ID as a sort of reversely psychological compliment. Have you ever noticed this? There are adamant parties on both sides of this issue. The hardened 65-year-old rancher buying a tractor and a case of beer flips his lid (and in rare cases a bird) because of extra trouble caused by a well-meaning cashier. Meanwhile, in the next checkout lane, the same treatment for a grandma getting a new prescription and a small bottle of wine leaves her overjoyed and feeling young at heart. Why they sell beer, tractors, drugs and wine in the same store I’ll never know but the results are self-evident: frustration vs. making someone’s day.

There’s a simple solution to this, something not so common anymore… common sense. Instead of taking every opportunity to make yourself feel like Mother Theresa, you cashiers out there SHOULD endeavor to read the people you serve (go back to school if necessary, yes I said read). I’m not upset about this personally in the least but instead make this plea on behalf of the O.F.Y.H. (Old Farts,Young Hearts) Association of America. Those of you who card Scrooge on Christmas Eve, have a bad experience and quit carding senior citizens could be denying Granny Smith‘s lone Christmas wish.

If this still makes no sense then do this. Card nice elderly women and not cranky old men… you’ll have a higher success rate. From there you can move on to divining the intricacies of the department store customer’s mind and who knows? Perhaps you’ll go on to a career in mental therapy or fortune-telling but a small dose of good judgement will go a long way to getting you started.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.”           C. E. Stowe

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