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Christmas Observations


I support the true meaning of Christmas as Jesus birthday etc… but I’m here today to talk about pretty much everything else 😛

Christmas was best when I used to believe in Santa Claus… what I wouldn’t give to be 18 again… I still hold a grudge against the chubby, nonexistent charlatan. Santa is Satan misspelled…I’m on to you, Fatman. YAY! Let’s wrap cheap electric lights around our dead indoor tree and get ready for the guy to break into the house while we’re sleeping!  It may be hard to believe by the tone of this post but… I actually love Christmas. No matter how old you are, bubble wrap is pseudo gunfire and an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a sword. What else could inspire someone to spend an ungodly amount of time untangling a 6 dollar strand of Christmas lights they bought 10 years ago.

And what is this ‘Happy Holiday‘ crap? Dave Barry put it best when said “In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukka‘ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukka!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!”

I plan on going and getting a real tree this week. I’ve never had one before because my parents didn’t believe in putting one up… hope it doesn’t end up like Amy Winehouse. Dead, 5 ft 6, and surrounded by needles before Christmas. There is an upside though. At least I’m not so poor that I have to decorate my Christmas tree car air freshener.

Ah Christmas… with your confusing carols (We Three Kings of Porridge and Tar? Recently corrected on that one) and frantic last-minute shopping. If not for Christmas companies would have to invent another holiday causing one and all to spend more than they make all year in one month.

In conclusion to this random escapade into the red, green and white rainbow that is Deember 25th, I bid you Merry Christmas. Should you lack mistletoe… may you always kiss under the influence.

X4NCWM32RJ66

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Is Chivalry Dead?


1600’s: Oh Dearest Romeo, I write to inform you that I have received your letter and I’ve been left quite speechless.

2011: K

Call me old-fashioned but I’m the kind of guy that will open doors for women (not just the one’s I think are pretty) and always pay no matter how they insist. I aspire to be that knight in shining armor… with a slightly bad ass side as well 😉
This doesn’t mean I don’t like to do crazy, (sometimes… well most of the time) illegal things. I have two tattoos and I’m planning on getting more. What chivalry means is a respect for women in general, and, while I’m nowhere near perfect, I try. I was raised in a strict environment and have branched out immensely while on my own but a few of these basic principles have served me well over the years.

Those whose ‘game’ is based on the misconception they’re flirting with women while putting them down and treating them with disrespect are nothing but insecure.

I myself think ladies with a mindset like this one (directly below) are entirely unattractive. I blame this on men without a doubt. We have forced them to fill our roles in addition to theirs  while we watch our sports,  live off our welfare and generally abdicate what little responsibility we have left. A true man deserves a true woman. There are few left. I believe nothing is more attractive than a  girly, feminine girl who desires to fill the void in society that only she can.

^^^See? Even these felines have it right ^^^

Chivalry is not dead, it’s just gone into hiding. With the emergence of hardened, assertive women who construe certain gestures of common courtesy as a sign of weakness and degradation, gentlemen have to be careful of who they hold that door open for.

The few that persist in the practice of chivalry are soon burnt out by the disdain of the opposite sex. Women are confused, not knowing whether to construe an open door or pulled out chair as someone trying to get in their pants or else mockery. This can be directly linked to a worldwide absence of true men with chivalrous intentions.

Man or woman… ask yourself: is it so hard to believe in a tradition built on mutual respect and courteous behavior?

On this day sixty years ago…


April Fools! Let’s get married.
or
Let’s get married. April Fools!

It doesn’t take a neurosurgeon or a big CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE section in a coloring book to realize the opposite nature of these two statements. What I am about to relate to you is a personal story of my family. A story my grandma told me years ago. The story of her marriage to my grandpa. It’s pretty short, sweet and simple.

Before

After

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Grandma was in a bad situation in her home, had run away multiple times and needed to get out. She had been seeing my Grandpa for about a year. They first met at a Bible Study and hit it off immediately. I am told that he was a charming man back in the day (compared his slightly cantankerous self of late). To make a long story short they planned to get married in a year or so after they could save up and start right but her family situation forced the decision upon them. It was April Fools Day, 1951. Unaware of the date and caught up in the drama that was their life at the time, they headed to the local chapel. Their request to be married was met with a goodhearted laugh by the minister but he decided to play along.

The pastor didn’t realize he was conducting a real wedding until the end of the ceremony. My grandparents headed off on their honey moon leaving a bewildered and somewhat embarrassed man of the church. This very day marks 60 years of “hard marriage” in payment of their vows that cool April morning. They currently live less than a half hour drive away from my house and have been the best grandparents anyone could ask for. Grandma is ALWAYS encouraging me to chase my impossible dreams and Grandpa (the eternal realist) is making sure there’s a good plan in place to do so. I love them both very much.

I am posting this in honor of such character, devotion and love that made the inception of my life possible and have inspired me along it’s course. Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa

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